The 2 Faces of Squidward: The Alternative Version
by SuperNothing
Summary: Squidward gets into an accident at the Krusty Krabs that makes him really beautiful, suddenly he has everything he has ever wanted. But what about Spongebob? R&R Please! Story taken from 'The Two Faces of Squidward'. COMPLETED!
1. The Singing Duo

**Disclaimer: **Nothing in this story belongs to me. Not even the plot or dialogue. Just about everything in this story was taken from an actual Spongebob epi. I just tweaked it a little... Please don't sue me!!! ~Begs~

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**Chapter 1: The Singing Duo**

"-Krabby Patty, krabby patty Squidward had a krabby patty whose buns were white as snow!" Patrick and Spongebob sang loudly together barely able to contain their giggles before they finally fell to the floor laughing so hard tears were pouring from their eyes.

Squidward sighed in mild irritation as the laughter reached him through the window that separated the front of the restaurant from the kitchen where Spongebob and Patrick were. He looked dully at the fish standing in front of his register and said, "Welcome to the Krusty Krabs where it's almost as if the evolutionary clock ticks BACKWARDS."

The singing started up again louder than it had been the first time. Squidward looked at the first customer in the very long line and said, "Excuse me for just a second." Without waiting for a reply he turned and stuck his head through the little window. "Do you mind!" He screamed at the two not bothering at all to hide his frustration and irritation at them. "I'm TRYING to work at a fast food restaurant. YOU might want to try it sometimes!"

Spongebob looked at him for a second then started laughing. "I SURE would Squidward!" He said his eyes glowing brightly. "That sounds-"

"Hey wait a minute!" Patrick interrupted him as he screwed up his face in concentration making both Spongebob and Squidward stare at him curiously. Patrick pointed towards the ceiling then towards Spongebob as he said, "Spongebob you already DO work at a fast food restaurant."

Spongebob's face fell as he pondered what Patrick had just said. Wondering all the while why he hadn't thought of that. He blinked a few times before the large smile once again appeared on his face. "Oh YEAH!" He shouted as he and Patrick raised their hands in the air and screamed happily.

Squidward watched the display for a second before he grew bored and rested his head on a tentacle. "Remind me to fire my therapist." He muttered quietly as he stared off into the distance. Quickly he snapped himself back to reality before he could start daydreaming and angrily yelled at Spongebob. "And STOP bringing your neighbors to work!"

"We're not JUST neighbors." Patrick spoke up immediately.

"You can say THAT again." Spongebob said before he had time to stop himself. When he realized his mistake his eyes immediately darted to Squidward as he glared angrily down at them.

"We're not JUST neighbors." Patrick repeated as he grinned from Spongebob to Squidward.

Squidward's eyes widened dramatically until he felt that any minute they would fall out of his head. He looked from Patrick with his idiotic grin plastered on his face to Spongebob who, he noticed, was staring back at him with a panicked look in his eyes.

The little sponge's yellow skin turned pale as Squidward observed Patrick for only the briefest seconds, and then reddened when Squidward shifted his gaze towards himself. He shifted from foot to foot as he silently raged at Patrick for saying something like that and not even REALIZING what he had said.

After being able to do nothing but stare Squidward pushed his own emotions aside and once again glared at both of them. "I don't care!" He shouted probably louder than was necessary, and turned quickly back towards the customers. When he saw that everyone was looking at him strangely he grinned and chuckled nervously. "$4.19 Please." He said weakly to the customer whose order he had been taking before this interruption.

Spongebob felt his face fall slightly as he thought over what Squidward had just said. _'Is it really true.. does he really not care?' _He could never really tell with Squidward. Most of the time he was grouchy and bossy and arrogant, but sometimes he was funny and calm and nice to be around. It had always been really hard for Spongebob to tell when Squidward was lying to him or not. He looked over at Patrick who was still smiled at him. He grinned weakly for a second before he, once again, retained his full smile. _'No. I can't think like that. Squidward cares. I just know he does!' _And again Spongebob and Patrick stared to sing and dance.


	2. Two Weeks

**Chapter 2: Two Weeks**

Spongebob paced the waiting room fretfully. Gnawing and chewing on his hat before eventually just eating the whole thing. He sighed as he turned, walked over to a box of hats, just like the one he had just ingested, and picked up another one before beginning the process again. "How can I be so stupid!" He screamed silently outraged and furious with himself as again he started pacing. The scene seemed to replay itself in his mind as he walked nervously around the tiny room.

_***Flashback***_

_Patrick and Spongebob danced in wide circles around the kitchen singing "Krabby Patty" over and over as loud as they could. Spongebob laughed happily the earlier awkward_ _moment between himself, Patrick, and Squidward almost completely forgotten._

_And then he heard it Squidward was screaming something in the front. Spongebob stopped suddenly causing Patrick to run into him. "What's wrong Spongebob?" Patrick asked as he looked curiously at his friend._

_Spongebob shushed him as Squidward screamed. "That is it!"_

_"Geeze he really shouldn't be yelling like that in a restaurant." Patrick said as he glared through the window toward Squidward, and placed his hands on his hips._

_Spongebob sighed and went over to the door._

_"Where you going buddy?" Patrick asked moving to follow._

_Spongebob turned and smiled at him. "Don't worry Pat. Just need to tell Squiddy not to yell at the customers. I'll be back soon, and then we dance some more!"_

_He watched as Patrick jumped up and down clapping his hands like a little child. This made his smile widen as he opened the door singing a little tone as he went._

_**CRASH!**_

_A horrified scream filled the air making Spongebob's voice die in his throat. His eyes went wide as he peered around the door afraid of what he would see. To his horror Squidward was laying on the ground with his hands covering his face._

_"Spongebob!" Squidward screamed at him pain evident in his voice. "You nim-come-poop! You broke my face!" _

_Spongebob peered over him worryingly trying to apologize but unable to find his voice. "Squidward?" He whispered so low that even he had trouble hearing himself. _

_"Don't just stand there! Help me!" He ordered not moving his hands from his face. "I need a doctor!"_

_The next thing Spongebob knew an ambulance had come to take Squidward away. He had tried to follow, but the paramedics wouldn't let him in the ambulance with Squidward. Spongebob had glared at the fish as the doors closed and the siren blared loudly. Determination overcame him and he jumped onto the back of the ambulance. Holding on for dear life while the ambulance driver did over 90 MPH on the highway._

_***End Flashback***_

Once inside the hospital the doctors had wheeled Squidward away on a cart. _'But that's been HOURS ago!!! How could no one tell me how he is?!' _Just as Spongebob was about to ingest his forty-second hat the doors to the surgery room flew open and a purple fish stood at the door.

Spongebob gasped in shock, horror, and relief as he ran over to the man so fast he was a mere blur. He hugged the doctor to him tightly his hysterics reaching an all time high. "Oh DOCTOR!" He screamed as he buried his face deep within the man's coat. "Is he going to be alright?! For the love of Neptune TELL ME!!" Tears poured down his cheeks as he waited on baited breath.

The doctor recovered from his stunned silence, and gently wrapped his arms around Spongebob trying to comfort him in his distress. "Well son-"

"NO! Don't TELL ME!!" Spongebob screamed as he knocked away the doctors hands and raised his head just enough so that he could look at the man. "I can't take it!!" He screamed burring his face in the coat again as the tears ran down his cheeks and he sobbed loudly.

The doctor rolled his eyes. "We should know -" He began his voice barely audible over Spongebob's sobs. His eyes widened when he felt the young man cover his lips with his hands.

Again Spongebob looked at the man. His desperation to know and not know making him cry harder. "No, no please... Just don't." He said his voice reflecting the hopelessness he felt inside.

The doctor glared down at him before removing his hand. "We won't know for two weeks." He said quickly to avoid being interrupted again. "You'll just have to wait." He walked away from the disturbed sponge not stopping even though he still felt the boys arms around him.

Spongebob's arm stretched with the man until he finally let go and watched as his arms snapped back to him to hang limply at his sides. "Two weeks..." He muttered quietly as the shock finally set in. _'Two weeks until I'll know if Squidward is okay!?' "_I'll never make it." He said emptily before his eyes rolled back and he fainted.


	3. Squidward's New Face

**Chapter 3: Squidward's New Face**

Two weeks later...

"Morning Spongebob. You're early today."

"Good morning Nurse Gretchen!" Spongebob smiled largely at the nurse behind the visitors desk as he walked past her. Quickly he went over to an older woman in a wheel chair that he had developed a friendship with. "Good morning Mabel!" He said as he picked a blue sea flower out of the bouquet he had brought for Squidward. "Saved the blue one JUST for you." He said smiling and winked at the old woman as he handed her the flower.

"Oh Spongebob!" She said in her thick southern accent. "Blue is my favorite color!... Or is it orange?" She asked as she pondered the question.

Spongebob laughed lightly at her. "Don't worry Mabel! I'll bet your amnesia is gonna wear off in NO time." He said happily as he walked around her continuing on his way to Squidward's room.

"My what?" Mabel asked from behind him.

"Hi ya Squidward!" Spongebob said walking into the room and suddenly doing a flip and landing on his back. From the floor he grinned largely. "I've been practicing how to flop on my back!"

Squidward muttered loudly, but everything he said was lost in the thick bandages wrapped around his face.

"We can't really have you in here today." The same doctor who had spoken to Spongebob two weeks ago said. "I'm going to be removing Squidwards bandages and he made me swear to keep you far away from him."

Spongebob glanced at Squidward his hurt showing his eyes for only a second before he pushed it away and smiled. "It has been two weeks ALREADY? Don't worry doc. I PROMISE to stay out of the way!"

"Okay." He said reluctantly. "As long as you stay on the other side of the- " He never finished. Spongebob raced so fast to Squidward's bedside that he was nothing but a blur. The doctor sighed in irritation before finally just giving up. "Right." He said while he grabbed a pair a scissors and leaned over Squidward to start cutting away the bandages.

Spongebob nervously looked from the sharp scissors to Squidward's bandaged face. Sweat poured down his skin as his mind was assaulted with all of the things that could go wrong. Before he could stop himself he screamed, "Don't rush it!"

The doctor glared sharply at him.

"Sorry go ahead." Spongebob said backing slightly away from Squidward's bedside as he looked nervously at the doctor. Again the man moved to cut the first bandage away. "WAIT!" He screamed

"What is it!?" The doctor yelled as he jerked the scissors away from Squidward.

"Are you sure the patient has a..." He made up words as he rested his fingers on his chin and looked hard at Squidward.

"I have NO idea what that is..." He said more than a little irritated with the yellow sponge. "PLEASE just let me work!"

"Very well DOCTOR carry on." Spongebob said as seriously as he could manage at the moment. Trying to cope with his nervousness as best he could, but unfortunately for the doctor getting carried away.

"May I?" The doctor asked doubtfully as again he moved over Squidward.

"Hold it!" Spongebob screamed as he disappeared from Squidwards bedside and moved over to a piece of hospital equipment in Squidward's room. "The readings on this brain meter are ALL wrong." He said sounding outraged. "We MUST postpone the operation!"

"THAT," The doctor said pointing angrily at the 'brain meter', "Is a TELEVISION SET put here for the PATIENTS enjoyment. And it's not even plugged into the wall!!!" Proving his point by grabbing the cord and holding it up for Spongebob to see.

Spongebob stared at the empty outlet for a second before rushing back over to Squidwards bed. "You're RIGHT doctor. Proceed with Operation Serve!"

Things continued on this way from quite a while. Just before the last second Spongebob would distract the doctor with some useless declaration until the poor man was about ready to run out of the room screaming.

"WAIT!" Spongebob screamed for the seventh or eighth time.

"What.. Could it POSSIBLY be THIS time!?" The man barked as he glared at the Sponge.

"I just wanted to say... sorry for interrupting you before." Spongebob said sheepishly as he stared at the doctor. The mans eye twitched but he didn't say anything. Instead he quickly reached down and cut the first bandage wrapped around Squidwards head away. Spongebob felt his chest tighten as he looked worryingly down at Squidward. He noticed that one of Squidward's tentacles was just barely poking out from underneath the cover that hid most of his body. Spongebob took a deep breath and had to fight against himself to not reach down and take the tentacle in his own hand.

"I... I.. I can't believe it." The doctor said suddenly snapping Spongebob back to reality he looked at the man horror struck as he fell to the floor.

"Spongebob?" Squidward questioned weakly as he grabbed onto Spongebob's arm.

Spongebob felt himself jump slightly and redden at the contact, but quickly push it away. "Yeah?" He asked uncharacteristically brief.

"How does it look?"

Spongebob looked at Squidward for the first time since the bandages had been removed. "Gr.. Great Neptune." Was all that he could say.

"Come on Spongebob!" Squidward said worrying about the shocked look on the yellow mans face. "Spit it out I can take it."

At that moment Nurse Gretchen walked in with a trey carrying Squidward's medicine. Which she dropped when she saw Squidward's face and was reduced to a puddle-like substance on the floor.

"What did she call me?" Squidward asked slightly disbelieving.

Spongebob had been glaring at Gretchen ever since the word in question had come out of her mouth, but when he turned back to Squidward he wiped the anger off of his face. "Handsome." He said more bitter than he had intended. "But she spelled it wrong." He added quickly not really liking the way Squidward was responding to the word.

"Quick!" Squidward said pointing frantically. "Hand me that mirror."

Spongebob rushed away and retrieved the devise handing it to Squidward as soon as he was able. Squidward stared at himself at the mirror for a moment not able to really believe what he was seeing. "That nurse was right!" He said disbelieving but pleased all the same. "I am handsome!"

Spongebob had to fight to hold his tongue, and when he did speak it wasn't the words he had wanted to say. "Squidward you're NOT handsome." He said watching as the man turned to face him hurt evident on his new beautiful face. Spongebob mentally kicked himself for saying something so stupid before a large grin spread across his face and he pointed at Squidward. "You're a HUNK!" He screamed loudly delighted when he instantly received a smile.


	4. Mr Handsome Meet Your Number 1 Fan

**Chapter 4: Mr. Handsome Meet Your Number 1 Fan**

A short time later Spongebob and Squidward were walking down one of the main streets of Bikini Bottom. Spongebob felt his eyes drift upward to stare at Squidward something he had been doing ever since they had left the hospital. Squidward smiled at nothing in particular as people all around them turned to stare at him. This fact wasn't lost on Spongebob either. He noticed that all around people were gawking stupidly at Squidward. Men and women. Young and incredibly old. No one seemed immune to his beauty.

Spongebob tried not to worry about the people who were hurting themselves and others just to catch a glimpse of Squidward, but try as he might he couldn't hide his jealously. Briefly he tour his eyes away from that gorgeous face to look around him. He glared slightly at the people that seemed to be following them. And without really thinking about it he felt himself growing slightly possessive of the man next to him having to fight against the urge to move closer to him. _'They never noticed before!'_ He thought in outrage. _'No one ever noticed before... except for me! I've always noticed how beautiful he was, and now I can't make them quit staring at him! It isn't fair! He never acted like this when I would stare at him! He never even noticed when I stared at him.'_

He looked up again when he heard Squidward sigh contently his smile hadn't vanished ever since they had left the hospital which was a rarity in itself. Spongebob felt something inside of him breaking, but pushed it away. _'But... As long as he's happy with this... I'm happy with it.' _It was a lie, but he put his smile back on his face not entirely sure when he had stopped smiling to begin with and said, "Gee Squidward. People REALLY seem to be noticing how handsome you are now."

Squidward didn't reply but glanced at Spongebob briefly, his smile growing wider, before looking away. Spongebob felt himself blush and paused for just half a second before he continued. "You might even be more handsome than before!" He said trying his hardest not to blush harder as once again Squidward glanced at him.

"Oh. So. HANDSOME!" A woman shouted from inside her boat they had walked in front of it. Squidward turned to smile briefly at her.

Spongebob once again felt something inside of him breaking. This time he stopped completely, but was pushed forward by the mob of people that were following them. "If that's possible." He whispered as he once again caught up with Squidward making sure that he didn't hear what he had just said.

Unknown to them a brown fish in a green shirt, blue pants, and brown shoes was walking down the other side of the block. He looked up and automatically his eyes landed on Squidward. "I can WALK!" An older woman in a wheel chair shouted as she jumped to her feet. "I can SEE!" A young blind man shouted as he took off his glasses. "I can FLY!" The fish shouted as he through his arms in the air in victory. He ran for the tallest building in town, climbed the stairs, threw the door open, and jumped into the air. Flapping his arms vigorously. Surprisingly enough he stayed in the air and sored happily into the sky.

"Uh oh." He said fretfully as he felt one of his shoes coming loose "My shoe's untied!" Without warning the shoe popped off his foot and fell towards the ground...

Back on the sea floor a teenage girl with wavy blond hair ran up to Squidward. She smiled widely at him and held up a small blank book. "Mr. Handsome!" She screamed in a nasally voice that instantly got on Spongebob's nerves. "Can I have your autograph?" Squidward smirked at her before raising a pencil to sign a page in the book. "No! Not the book. Sign my retainer!" She pulled the piece out of her mouth and Squidward signed it looking slightly disgusted but pleased.

They continued to move until they noticed a light brown fish in a black tux and hat standing in front of them. He smiled and open the door to a long white limousine parked in front of them.

"A limousine?" Spongbob and Squidward both questioned but quickly hurried forward into the car. As the car drove away Squidward leaned back against the seat and folded his arms behind his head. "Well Spongebob," He said in smug satisfaction. "Earlier today my spine was hurting, now I'm resting on fine leather upholstery."

Spongebob smiled lovingly up at him, but Squidward didn't notice to caught up in his own world to care. He didn't see the sad flash that came over Spongebob's eyes when he noticed that people were running after the car. And he didn't hear the tiny whimper than left his mouth. _'I can do this.' _Spongebob thought as he wrestled with his emotions. _'I WILL do this... for him. Don't break Spongebob. DON'T break!'_

"Hey Squidward?" Spongebob began timidly trying an failing to sound like his normal self.

"Hmm?" Squidward closed his eyes as he listened.

"About work... I'm sorry."

Squidward chuckled. "You have NOTHING to be sorry for. I should be THANKING you. It's because of your clumsiness that people FINALLY realize how TRULY beautiful I am."

Spongebob fought against the sob rising in his throat. Squidward didn't understand. The two weeks hadn't passed by as quickly as he had pretended. He had went to the hospital every day to see Squidward. Coming early in the morning, and not leaving until security practically threw him out. He had busied himself by talking to others around the hospital since most of the time Squidward was sedated, but his mind had never really left Squidward the entire time. Because he needed to apologize for what he had done, and not JUST for hitting Squidward with a heavy metal door...

"We're friends." He said after a moment of silence.

Squidward opened his eyes a bit to peer over at Spongebob curious about the sudden depressing tone in his voice. "Who's friends?" He asked raising a eyebrow.

"Patrick... Me and Patrick. We're friends. That's all... That's what he meant when he said..." Spongebob trailed off and looked away not feeling comfortable enough to look into Squidwards new beautiful face.

Squidward felt his temper rising which always seemed to happen around Spongebob. He was about to ask him just what he was talking about before he remembered. His mouth hung open slightly, but he quickly closed it. All of a sudden it felt entirely to warm in the car, and he didn't know why, but he felt greatly relieved about the fact that nothing was going on between Spongebob and Patrick. Taking some deep even breaths Squidward tried to calm himself not really sure why he was so worked up about this in the first place. Eventually he sighed and attached a look of disinterest to his face. "I told you before, Spongebob, I DON'T care." He said and again closed his eyes.

Spongebob stared at Squidward out of the corner of his eyes. Tears formed quickly but he blinked them away. _'I know.' _"I know." He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but by the time Squidward had cracked his eyes open again Spongebob had composed himself and smiled warmly at him. While at the same time the limo stopped right outside of their houses.

The mob formed around them instantly. Stretching from the door of the limousine all the way to the door at Squidward's house.

Spongebob walked in front of Squidward not trusting himself to be so close to him without completely losing it. When they finally reached the door he turned and saw Squidward modeling to his new fans. With a cheerfulness he didn't feel Spongebob smiled and said, "Well, I'm gonna go clip my toenails Squidward." Then more bitterly than he intended he added, "Don't FORGET to enjoy being handsome."

"Oh DON'T worry!" Squidward said as he turned to go into his house not even glancing at Spongebob before he shut the door.

Spongebob pushed through the crowd, and walked the short distance to his pineapple. The smile on his face didn't vanish until he had shut and locked the door. "I need ICE CREAM." He said dejectedly as he trekked into the kitchen his mind never leaving the beautiful man next door.


	5. The Madness of Love Struck Fans

**Chapter 5: The Madness of Love Struck Fans**

Squidward went to bed that night with a large smile on his new face. The cheers just outside of his window seemed to sooth him into a slumber fit for a king, or in his case an extremely attractive man. And the next morning he was woken by those same cheers before his alarm clock could ever go off. He smiled again as he lifted a purple mask from his eyes. "Well, better go and greet the commoners." He said to no one.

After quickly changing, from his purple night shirt into his normal brown shirt, he went down the stairs and to the door. He opened the door happily, but quickly the smile slipped from his face and a shocked look came over him. Over night more people had shown up. A lot more people. There was hardly any space between them as they pressed together to try and catch a glimpse of him. They stretched a good distance from Patrick's rock and continued past Spongebob's pineapple. He paused when his eyes fell on the pineapple as he remembered what Spongebob had said about himself and Patrick.

Again he felt himself blush but fought again the strange warmth that seemed to overtake him. He shook his head and tried to think straight. Pulling himself back to the present he spread his arms widely to the eager crowd. "Good morning my people! I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but even I, as strange as it seems, need my beauty sleep." He chuckled lightly highly enjoying being the center of so much attention.

"I want his shirt!" He heard one fish call loudly.

Squidward looked at the man for a moment before someone else called, "I want his EYELIDS!!!" Not knowing what else to do he just stood there in stunned silence. He didn't even see them coming before he was bombarded with people. Knocking him down to the ground and tearing at his clothes desperately.

From next door Spongebob watched from the window in his room. He had been watching the crowd long before Squidward had come out of his Easter Island house, and he didn't like how restless they had become. When Squidward had finally come out he felt his breath catch in his throat as the man spoke. But then when the crowd jumped at Squidward he couldn't help the angry and desperate cry that had escaped him. How dare they touch _his _Squidward like that!

He threw himself away from the window and was at the door before rational thought finally kicked in making him freeze on the spot. Squidward had always wanted to be adorned by the people around him. It had been his dream since Spongebob had first met him. And with that it mind it would be cruel of him to rip Squidward away from those who really did envy him in the way that he wanted. Spongebob sighed as he sunk to the floor. _'He's always had MY adoration. Always, but he's never accepted it. Because I actually love him. Those.. those... fans of his DON'T love him. Not like I do. And he doesn't WANT what I have to offer. I won't be the one to ruin his happiness.' _And with that thought plaguing his mind Spongebob sunk to the floor unable to fight off the tears that had been threatening to consume him since yesterday.

Back outside Squidward finally got away from his mob of fans and rushed back into his house. Slamming the door shut before anyone could follow him. He was panting and trembling slightly but he ignored it as he whipped sweat from his brow. Looking down at his torn shirt. "I guess I kept them waiting a little TO long... I know!" He said instantly perking up and marching away to retrieve his clarinet. "A little music should sooth their hunger."

He walked over to the window and began to play his beloved instrument. From down below one of the fans spoke as he fought with another over a part of Squidward's shirt. "Wait! What is that sound?" He said looking up. The other one looked up as well and pointed to the window. "It's him!" He shouted excitingly, "The handsome man!!!"

Down below the fans cheered loudly as Squidward continued to play. He stopped briefly and said, "Beautiful AND talented! What MORE do they want?" He then leaned out of the window waving his clarinet slightly in greeting. "Don't worry folks. There's more where that came from, and -"

Squidward never finished because at that moment a pudgy green fish in a yellow shirt snatched his clarinet from his hand. "I GOT IT! I GOT THE CLARINET!!!" He screamed loudly as he climbed down the rope he had used to climb up to the window in the first place. However once at the bottom he was pulled from the rope and attacked as the fans fought over the, now damaged, instrument.


	6. The Road Back to A Normal Life

**Chapter 6: The Road Back to A Normal Life**

Similar events continued to happen throughout the day. Squidward soon found that it was impossible for him to go outside at all, and that it was best to remain away from windows. Six times today he had found people sneaking in through the windows and door to steal his stuff. He had tried to lock them after awhile, but nothing seemed to keep them out.

It reminded him of all of the times Spongebobhad broken into his house without his permission, and immediately he felt concerned for his little yellow neighbor. He hadn't seen the sponge all day, and it concerned him. Not a day had gone by, since he had moved to Bikini Bottom, that Spongebob hadn't come to bother him for one reason or another. Plus he knew that Spongebob hated being confined to one area for a long period of time, but he also prayed that Spongebob was smart enough not to try and visit him today.

Because with Spongebob's polite nature and short height he would probably just be pounded into the ground by the mob. "Still... it would be nice to see him." He muttered as he went into the bathroom readying himself for a relaxing bubble bath to help calm his nerves. He put on his shower cap and secured a towel firmly around his waist as thoughts of the sponge filled his mind. The warmth he was now growing accustomed to every time he thought of Spongebob, which had been a lot recently, filled him. He sighed and smiled as he inhaled the sweet fragrance of the bubble bath while he tried not to think to much of his neighbor. "There's nothing a little foaming herbal bath can't cure."

Before he had a chance to close his mouth he felt the bottle being ripped away from him. His eyes turned to the window where the vanishing smiling form of another fan could be seen quickly disappearing. He looked to the window, sure that he had locked it before, he hung his head out and glared angrily at the crowd below watching as they fought over the bottle. "Hey! My grandmother gave me that soap!" He shouted clearly annoyed

He sunk back into the water and sighed. Putting a smile on his face as he put his arms behind his back. "Well no one ever said it would be EASY being so handsome Squiddy. You'll just have to start getting used to - "

He was cut off as the water around him parted and a giant green female fish jumped out. Squidward screamed as the massive creature glared down at him with her four eyes. Suddenly her face softened and she put her hands on her hip in an attempt to look appealing. "Hi handsome." She said.

Squidward gawked at her until he heard, "HANDSOME!" He whipped around and was surprised to see several fish smiling at him from the window. While several even popped out of the toilet! "Lets get him!" One yelled.

Squidward scream in terror and jumped quickly out of the window. The mob had moved in on his house. Busting through the doors and windows in an attempt to catch him. That thankfully meant the area around Spongebob's house was clear enough to buy him a few seconds. But only a few. When people saw his laying there they immediately rushed at him. He jumped to his feet, threw Spongebob's door open, rushed inside, and closed it before they could get to him. "SPONGEBOB!" Squidward screamed.

Spongebob looked up when he heard Squidward's voice half assuming he had finally gone as crazy as everyone said he was, but he froze when his eyes locked with his neighbors. Spongebob was sitting on the floor in his underwear in the dark clipping his toenails as he had said he would do the previous night. Incense burned in the background making the room smell faintly of vanilla. His surprised eyes darted towards the door.

"You got to help me!" Squidward said desperately after staring at Spongebob's appearance for a few seconds. Thankful for the dark because he was sure he was blushing at Spongebob's near nakedness. "They STOLE my bubble bath!"

Spongebob just stared at Squidward for a second taking in his appearance, and to embarrassed to worry much about his own. Squidward stood basically naked in front of him. There was a cap on his head, but his chest was bare. And only a towel was hiding his lower region from Spongebob's greedy view. It was when Squidward started moving towards him that Spongebob finally pulled his mind away from his increasingly perverted thoughts, and also allowed him to really notice what he was wearing himself. Spongebob blushed some because of Squidwards appearance but mostly from the shame of his own. Quickly before Squidward reached him he grabbed some clothes that he had had laying nearby and hurriedly put them on.

"Public life ain't all it's cracked up to be!" Squidward screamed. Spongebob's eyes went wide when Squidward lifted him easily into the air Squidward's hands dug into his sides so painfully gentle that it hurt him. Warmth radiated from where Squidward was touching him, and it took all of his will power not to close the short, SHORT, distance between them and capture Squidward's lips with his own.

"I want my old life back!" Squidward said sadly as he dropped Spongebob not knowing the powerful effect he was having on his neighbor. Tears formed in Squidward's darkened eyes as he looked hopelessly down at him, and again Spongebob had to fight with himself not to grab a hold of the man. But he did compromise with himself. Instead he gently squeezed Squidwards thin shoulder, and began quickly thinking about the situation.

Squidward felt his breath catch when Spongebob touched him. He didn't know how to handle the situation. The touch was comforting, far TO comforting for his liking, but he didn't want to push Spongebob away fearing he would hurt his feelings. Then he found it odd how he cared at all. But still, NOT pushing him away wasn't something he would normally do, and since the other day he had in no way felt normal when he was around Spongebob.

However Spongebob saved him the trouble as he rested the hand that had been on Squidward's shoulder under his chin. Strangely enough Squidward instantly found himself missing the warm touch. "Hmm..." Spongebob muttered lightly before a brilliant idea struck him. "I know JUST what to do." He declared. As he pulled Squidward to the door, and threw it open.

Squidward was about to stop him his earlier fears coming back to him about Spongebob getting stomped on. But to his surprise Spongebob grabbed his tentacle quickly and pushed through the mob before anyone had a chance to really react. They ran quickly through down town Bikini Bottom. The mob was quickly on their tails as they sored through the streets. Squidward's bath clothes replaced with his normal attire.

Soon the building came into view, and both darted inside. Quickly closing the doors to the Krusty Krabs and using their weight to push the people back.


	7. Beautiful Ugly

**Chapter 7: Beautiful Ugly**

"SQUIDWARD! What have you done!?" A surprised voice caught their attention as they desperately tried to keep the mob out. Eugene Krabs walked towards his two employees slightly amazed. "You know what the Krusty Krabs means to me, don't ya?" He said as he walked over to stare at the smiling faces pressed against the windows all around the Krusty Krabs. "And you took it upon yourself to bring all these... these... CUSTOMERS! For MEEE!"

Spongebob and Squidward looked at their boss and then at each other before they simultaneously took off towards the back. Meanwhile up front Mr. Krabs was selling the rights to touch Squidward to the crowd. Spongebob glared at his boss before Squidward's voice caught his attention.

"We don't have much time!" Squidward said frantically as he pushed the door into Spongebob's hands, "Take the door and change me back!"

Spongebob hesitated as he, half terrified, thought over what Squidward was asking of him. "Come on Spongebob! Take the door and smash my face back!" Squidward yelled as he positioned himself for the impact closing his eyes shut tight.

Spongebob looked at Squidward in horror, and pushed the door away as if it had burned him. "I can't!" He yelled the distress evident in his voice causing Squidward to open his eyes and look at the sponge. "It was one thing doing it by accident, but I CAN'T hurt you on PURPOSE. I could never do that!"

Squidward felt his breath catch at the heartbroken look in Spongebob's eyes. But despite himself he felt his temper rising before he could stop it. They didn't have time for this... No HE didn't have time for this, and so before the feeling could spread he roughly pushed it away as he glared at Spongebob. "You BETTER hurt me," He screamed watching as Spongebob cowered behind the door, "or I'm REALLY gonna hurt YOU!"

Spongebob just stared at his neighbor. Squidward didn't understand what he was asking of him, but at the same time he had promised Squidward to help him. He sighed and looked desperately up at the man glaring so furiously at him. He silently begged Squidward not to make him do this. But Squidward only intensified the glare knowing that any second Spongebob would crack.

"Well..." The voice was torn and weak, "O.. Okay."

"Now DON'T hold back Spongebob." Squidward demanded as he stared at the broken form before him. "Just really let me have it." He pushed the door into Spongebob's hands again and once again closed his eyes.

"Just... remember Squidward... This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." Spongebob whispered as tears formed in his eyes.

Squidward again opened his eyes and stared at his neighbor curiously. "Um.. Okay let me just memorize -"

**SMACK!**

Squidward screamed in pain as the door came away from his face. He grabbed his throbbing eye as he tried to glare at Spongebob. "HEY! I wasn't re- "

**SMACK!**

Squidward's face seemed to pulsate as the pain ripped through him. He glared angrily at Spongebob. "Would you MIND waiting until I'm -"

**SMACK!**

"Hang on!" Spongebob cried happily as the door came back to rest in his hands. "Your starting to look like your old self again!"

**SMACK!**

Squidward saw stars on that one. Pretty red and white stars. Spongebob growled in frustration as the door came back to him, and he looked at Squidwards face again. "Nope, still to handsome!"

**SMACK!**

The stars seemed to be flying at him now. Rushing towards him faster than he could count. Squidward fell to the floor in a pained heap. Trying in any way to get Spongebob to stop hitting him with that blessed door, but unable to find his voice through the pain.

Spongebob looked down at Squidward. Then he rested his hands on his hips as he tried to determine if Squidward finally looked like his old self. Spongebob groaned loudly, and was almost at the point of pulling his hair out... Or he would have if he actually had hair. "It's STILL not WORKING!" He screamed in frustration. "Maybe I'm not doing it hard enough." He added as an after thought.

Before Squidward could stop him Spongebob swung the door with all of his might.

**SMACK!**

Again.

**SMACK!**

And again.

**SMACK!**

Spongebob smiled as he peeked around the door. _'Surely THAT had to do it!' _He thought when he heard Squidward groan in pain. Squidward hid his face in his hands, but quickly looked up at Spongebob. Spongebob shrieked as he looked at Squidward with shock, horror, awe, envy, and a hint of lust. "Squidward!" Spongebob shouted loudly, "You're ever MORE handsome NOW!!!"

The fans outside cheered wildly as they pounded on the glass in an attempt to reach Squidward. Spongebob spun around to look at them. Panic seeping over him. "And the crowd is in a frenzy!"

"Well Spongebob!" Squidward yelled his voice regaining some strength after practically having his head beat in. "It was YOU who got me into this mess! Now YOU have to get me out again."

Spongebob shrunk away from him. Sweat poured down his face as he tried desperately to think. _'Think! Think! THINK!! Figure something out! You've got to HELP!.. Your fault.. HELP HIM!!!' _"I know Squidward!" Spongebob said as his panic got the best of him. His mind and heart were racing ninety to nothing. He HAD to do SOMETHING!! Or else Squidward really WOULD start hating him. Spongebob felt his vision swim, and his legs go weak but he tried to ignore it as he leaned up against a table for support. _'NO! Can't.. faint.. Squid.. Squidward.. I.. I.. I.. ' _The edges of his vision began to blur until everything around him was turning black. He beat himself with his fists. " *Pant* I'll think of something! *Pant* I just need.. *Pant* I just.. *Pant*"

**... CRASH!!!**

Spongebob's eyes jumped to the ceiling where the noise had come from. A brown shoe fell through the ceiling directly above Squidward. Spongebob looked on in horror as life seemed to slow down. Squidward was pointing and yelling at him totally unaware of the danger that was coming straight for him.

Spongebob reacted on instinct. "SQUIDWARD! Look out for that falling shoe!!!" He shouted as he sprinted towards Squidward. To his panic-induced horror Spongebob saw Squidward turn his beautiful face to stare directly at the deadly object. _'No. No. NO!. SQUIDWARD!!!'_

Spongebob picked up the pace and at the last minute shoved Squidward out of the way. He stood their panting in horror as he tried to get control of himself. His vision swam and he felt like he couldn't breath. But it was the terrified beautiful scream that brought him to his senses. His head snapped up to he stared at Squidward gracefully twisted and turned in the air. He was so caught up in this rare and, somewhat comically, horrifying scene that he didn't even notice the shoe bouncing off of his head.

Squidward felt himself falling, and twisting, and turning, and falling some more. Everything seemed to have slowed down for him so much so that he could hardly tell that he was moving at all. Until..

**PLOW!**

Right into one of the pillars scattered around the Krusty Krab. He slid down it slowly and fell to the floor.

"Sq... Squidward?" Spongebob barely dared to breath out as he stood rooted to the spot. He felt his eyes widen and all of a sudden he was terribly cold. _'My fault. If he's hurt it's all my fault.' _The thoughts rung around in his head so loudly that he couldn't hear anything but. Everything, and everyone, stood still. As all eyes were on Squidward.

Squidward weakly raised his head. "Sponge.. bob." He called smiling drunkenly as he looked at Spongebob happily.

"You're BACK!" Spongebob shouted happily as gasps filled the room. In the blink of an eye Spongebob was at Squidwards side. He knelt down to where Squidward was sitting on the floor smiling bright. Before thinking about what he was doing Spongebob raised his hand and gently caressed Squidward's forehead lovingly. He was so happy that at the moment he couldn't think straight.

Squidward stared into Spongebob's eyes and smiled drunkenly at him. A smile which only increased when Spongebob reached up and touched him. A soothing light touch that spread that familiar warmth throughout his body and eased the pain in his face.

"Oh Squidward," Spongebob smiled his first real smile in, what seemed like, a long time. His eyes widened and a light blush formed on his cheeks, but this time he didn't fight it. "I love you." He whispered. "No matter how many times we smash your face." And with that he threw himself at Squidward wrapping his arms tightly around the older man.

Squidward smile only grew, but he didn't move to return the embrace since Spongebob was crushing his arms along with the rest of him. He sighed and shook his head. "I ALMOST wish that meant something." He said only half joking.

Spongebob smiled against Squidward as he heard the sound of the mob breaking up outside. He squeezed Squidward slightly and buried his face deeper against Squidward's chest. _'That's not what I want you to say... Not yet, but it IS a start.' _He thought and silently marvelled at the fact that Squidward hadn't pushed him away. Perhaps there was hope for them after all. The thought only made his smile grow wider as he held onto the one he had, and always would, love.


End file.
